Always, Megs

This last week or two has been full of ups and downs. Good and bad. Happiness and sadness. One of the chickens my dad and I were raising was killed (probably by a possum), my grandfather is on an uphill swing because the hospital finally delivered his oxygen tank, and my boyfriend was hired for a full time position at a marketing company! Here's to keeping my fingers crossed that I get into LMU so that he and I can finally start living together, and we can both move on from our hometowns and move our lives forward! 


I know that I've said that I never wanted to live in Southern California again, but last time I was down, just on a whim while we were looking for apartments, I said that I wanted to see what was in Calabasas. Turns out it's the gorgeous, little town nestled near the Malibu hills. It's quiet, charming, nearby to state parks with rivers and hiking trails, 10 miles to the Malibu beach, near to Thousand Oaks with even more hiking trails through green hills, it gets cooler and rainy in the winter, it hosts a farmers market every saturday morning in it's old-town, and it's only 30 minutes to LMU, so I can avoid a lot of traffic and a commute since classes are held for me mainly at night. Are you diggin' my groove? It sounds absolutely perfect for me and Jimmy. 


To be honest, I'll always want to be up north on the Mendocino Coast, or up in Oregon even, or Italy, or New York, ect, ect. There's always some place that I'm going to be dreaming about...that's just who I am. I have an insatiable wanderlust for both places I have and have not been...but the important thing is...I've been dreaming about this place too, and that doesn't happen very often. I've been dreaming about crisp sunday mornings, dinners with my boyfriend, hiking trials, and horseback rides, driving to the beach, and having dinners in the city. I'm dreaming of getting my Master's Degree and finally being able to work with children. 


I just feel like my life is slowly and surely coming together...the way that it was always supposed to. I guess in this world you really do make your own luck, and you have to decide for yourself what you want. You can't follow anybody else's path. You are truly alone. But life is so much better when you have someone to share that alone-ness with.


-Megan

My boyfriend and our cute as a button niece!

We're getting all sorts or perfect juicy, lovely tomatoes off of our vines this year! I'm especially loving the bite sized, cherry variety!

Yes, for all of you asking what tea is doing on my blog? I'm actually starting to drink (and enjoy) the stuff. I know, I know. The time has come.

Jimmy and I saw this lovely, well dressed gentlemen (haha) in Santa Monica. It was past the 4th of July, not that it being the 4th of July would have made this choice acceptable. Oh LA.

My mom and I trekked out to the country (my favorite), to visit a farm that had chickens, pigs, puppies, and baby goats! They were the sweetest thing! And as a girl who has always wanted to live on a farm and raise animals, I was in 7th heaven! The family was so sweet and with their help we brought home a chicky so ours could have a friend. She should start laying eggs any day now! I can't wait.

This week has been tough, wonderful, exciting, and involved to say the least. I feel like my mind, body and soul have been hung out to dry and to be examined by strangers, and friends alike. I'm lucky enough to be down south with my boyfriend. I needed him to talk me through the highs and the lows of these past few days. 


A few days ago, we went to look for apartments together. North enough to make me happy (and keep me as close as possible to my parents), while south enough so that if he gets a job/I get into school, it would still be possible to make the commute. While I don't LOVE the idea of living in souther california, we found a wonderful place that I think we'll both love. It's quite a jaunt outside of the city, and is only 9 miles to Malibu! It's brimming over with state parks, hiking trails, places to horseback ride, and is very close to the beach, while still being full of culture, and excitement. I am so excited for the next phase of my life, and to finally live with my boyfriend. The time just seems right, and everything seems to be falling into place.


I attended a group interview for Loyola Marymount's educational counseling program yesterday, and I was nervous as can be! I came out full of confidence, and then immediately broke down thinking that I did everything in the world wrong. I had to relive the entire experience in order to realize that everything went fine. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If not...well, something else will have to be figured out. The campus and the program seemed wonderful though. A tad bit expensive, but I suppose it's the price of my future, and you get what you pay for.


Jimmy and I also celebrated our 4th anniversary together! I can't hardly believe it. It's simply stunning how fast 4 years can go by when you're sharing them with someone you love. I remind myself everyday how blessed I am to have him by my side to share this world with. He has become a pro at calming my down, making me laugh, and knowing exactly how to make me feel better when I believe my world to be falling apart. I simply cannot wait to share my life with him, see shows with him, travel, get married, have babies...there are just so many good times ahead. I am so lucky.  


This week has been full of it's ups and downs. My heart goes out to the wonderful people struck by tragic circumstances in Colorado. It hurts my heart to think about those people who were affected. The family, the friends, the loved ones. I just hope that they can find peace. 


Here's to hoping that LMU accepts me, that I stumble upon a wonderful scholarship, that more travelling is close ahead, and that my boyfriend and I can find a way to merge out lives together.

-Megan

Today has been one of those quite, peaceful days. The days that you can laze around with a book in your hand, and not realize how much time has passed or how many pages you've managed to read. A day where the sun has set, but you don't mind that you never got through all the work that you had intended on doing. As the sun rises and falls, you are simply content to be. Here in this moment, you have no worries or cares. Life is moving around you, but you are at a standstill. These are the days I feel most content. When I have my man beside me to hold my hand. Kiss my neck. Sweep the hair back from my face. 


Today was the kind of day that felt like I was rolling out on the ocean. So calm and like the world was taken care of for me.

         
           
Time seems to have a funny way of tracing memories on our skin. A scar. A freckle. A way of smiling. A way of being that was learnt long ago, but not remembered until something entirely unrelated brings it up. I have always had a funny relationship with time. I felt is slipping away from me every since I was a young child, even though I was lucky enough to be raised to believe that time would never run out.


I have a yearning to always remember every moment. To burn into memory every sound, whisper, and feeling I encounter. I long to remember the taste of sweet fruit, the warmth of sun on my skin, the sound of my loved ones voices. However strong I try to hold onto them, however, some memories escape us.


When I was a child, I never wanted to grow up. Now I find as an adult, I have the same fear. I want to stay in the moment. To not let it escape from my grasp. To hold onto it. Yet, time never fails to move on, and I find myself so enamored with the future, that I forget to love the present.


I must learn to be present in the moment again, as I was when I was a child.


What about you? Do you find yourself living fully in the present? Do you long for better days? Or do you simply worry so much about the future, that it seems harder and harder to focus on the present?


They call it the present for a reason. It is a gift. A gift that needs to be cherished and polished. We must all try to work at living for the present, and letting the future take care of itself by what we're doing at this moment in time to perfect it.


So I for one, am about to go out and embrace this beautiful day, and this wonderful life.


-megan

The sound of my mother's laughter as my boyfriend tells a funny joke. The way her voice resonates when she gives me a hug and tells me she loves me. The look in her eyes as she drives away knowing she won't see me for two weeks. 


When I was a little girl, I never wanted to be away from my mother. She was my best friend, my confidant, and my partner in crime. We did everything together. She is still my best friend. She is still my confidant, as well as my partner in crime. But with the passing of time comes change, and while I want her next to me always, I have come to realize that the world has different plans. Children grow up. They move away and on with their lives, while parents simply must sit back and let them. 


This thought saddens me to no avail. I wish that I could just sit at home, and curl up next to my mother until the end of days, but I can't. I am a grown woman with 23 years under her belt. There comes a time in everyone's life when they must move on. My mother will always be part of my life. She will help me everyday. She will hold my hand before I walk down the aisle. She will hear me screaming when my babes are born. She will sit and hold my hand when they're sick and I'm powerless to make them better. She will continue to be my rock forever more.


I need to remember that even though I never wanted to grow up, it has happened. I need to live my own life for me. I know my mother will be proud of whatever decisions I make in this life, and she will support me fully for my efforts at being human.


What do I want to remember from today? I want to remember how much my mom loves me. How much she does for me. I want to remember that even though we can't always be a mile apart, we will always be there for each no matter the cost.


-megan

Summer is nice. Really it is. I actually anticipate it's arrival almost immediately after Christmas. I love lazy days spent by the pool reading, piling clothes and food into the car and hitting the open road, laying out on the beach drinking ice cold beverages, and spending afternoons on the porch reading with the wind blowing around me. Summer is magical. It's holding hands on piers and gazing up at the stars at night time. It's remembering how you felt as a child when it was merely July, and school seemed light years away. 

Found here.

I know I'm a bit late, but this month really snuck up on me. Actually, lately, it feels like my whole life has sort of snuck up on me. I suppose I really am just at that time in my life where everything is up in the air. A crossroad of sorts. There are so many things I want to do, and instead of doing them...I find myself sitting at home and being overwhelmed by it all.

I am 23 years old, a college graduate, a traveller, a substitute teacher, a girlfriend, a daughter, a friend, an avid reader, an amateur photographer...the list goes on....but do these things really describe who I am? Do they help me figure out what I want? It would be easier to just focus on one thing at a time, but then the others fall to the wayside.

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that during this time in my life, I'm supposed to be focused on me and what I want, yet how can I? When I have responsibilities and people who are counting on me. When I myself, am counting on me. I would hate to look back and have regrets about not living my life to the fullest at a young age...but I would also hate to look back and have regrets about not going to grad school and becoming an adult.

So what do you do in this situation? Go with your gut, follow other's advice, or simply choose to sit and let the world wash over you one step at a time?

So funny.

The final dress fitting!

I love the back of that beautiful dress!

She was all smiles - good sign ;)

Bachelorette party in Capitola!

The Bridesmaids!

The married couple!

The aforementioned pool

Me being a goober, basically.

Elephant seal beach.

This litte guy (well big guy) was my favorite.

Our very first picture together back in 2008! I hope you enjoyed ALL these latest pictures! And hopefully there will be more trips and wonderful memories coming up soon! xoxo!